Rose and me

Rose and me have been childhood friends since a long time. I remember father telling me, how John (Rose's elder brother), came from Nagpur to Harihar sleeping on the same berth of the train as him. My father and her dad have been fast friends since Nagpur days. They continued their friendship in Harihar as well. My mother became fast friends with her mother, Omana aunty. Consequently, the kids became fast friends as well!

Omana aunty is famous for her chicken biriyani. My mouth waters at the thought of her chicken biriyani. Yummy yummy yummy! Nothing else can describe her biriyani better! I remember a time when we went to Jog falls, and her yummy mommy's chicken biriyani that we had! (Slurp! My mouth waters at the thought of it.) We also celebrated Christmas with them. I still remember my mother asking my brother to refrain from having wine (he was really small at that time). But he would stealthily ask Omana aunty, or John chettan, and get him one glass (or, maybe more).

Rose and me, used to be in our own world. We used to stitch clothes for our barbies. I still remember the barbie doll that my father got me from Ernakulam. We used to believe, they were our kids, and we needed to take care of them, like our mother and father. We would build tents in the lobby of our terrace (where no one used to come), and, fry things inside. Gosh! I can't imagine how we fried corn in a cloth tent. We would have been doomed if the cloth caught fire! When Boothi sir (our PT teacher), was running a weight check, we both got upset, and cried - since we were chubby, hale and hearty kids.

She was one year older than me, and more talented. Infact, she was gorgeously talented. She used to stitch clothes for barbies, used to put mehendi, was really good at drawing, reading, and later on, she used to instruct a tailor to make specific designs, and now she's into baking - Grace Cakery is the name of her venture. I am really happy for her :-).

Though we are in different countries, I am sure, she'll not forget her childhood friend. And, though we talk twice or thrice only, but we communicate through Facebook. When we talk, we talk as if there's no barrier between us! That's called friendship.

A lesson... THINK BEFORE YOU ACT

This is a story about my Activa. Yes, this is the same story of the bike I owned since 2004 (Activa).

September 2009,  I developed a medical condition. So, doctors put a strict NO for riding a bike, driving a car or swimming, and other such activities. Since I got married to a wonderful person, he used to come pick me up when I was running back to back meetings, and while I was working.

All was good, until my dad asked me to give the bike to a cousin, who was in need. While I had no problems giving it free of cost, but I requested that he change the name in the records. But he said "Akka, I am just going use it for 2 years or so, till I buy a car. So, lets just go with the same name". While I wasn't comfortable, I agreed, thinking that he's my brother. He took it to a different town using a bus service. All was going as planned.

Then, after an year or so, he got an opportunity to travel to a foreign land. He didn't utter any word to me, until the last day. Finally I asked him, "What will my bike do sitting idle?." He replied "Akka, your bike is safe in the hands of a person. He will start it everyday." I wasn't too happy, but I thought he will get me the bike, since he travelled between the foreign land and India quarterly.

Months passed, he didn't utter a word about my Activa. He came and went, still he didn't utter a word. He fell in love with someone from the foreign land, and got engaged. I thought it was unwise to ask about my bike when he was getting engaged. So, I left it the way it was.

Finally, last year in September, I asked him the question that he most dreaded ,"What are you planning to do with my bike? Please bring it back, because it's being left unused."

Then came his wedding which was in Malaysia, and the reception which was in Cochin, my home town. I thought it'll be unwise of me to ask about my bike at the auspicious occasion, and refrained from asking him about it.

In December, after being prompted to renew the vehicle insurance, finally he said what I was waiting for. "Sis, I shall service the vehicle and plan to send it to Bangalore." I would have appreciated if he had come himself and given me the vehicle, but I didn't mind thinking that he would arrange a door to door pick up and drop. But, I was wrong. He said that there is no door-to-door pickup and drop. It will take him December 2016, at least to come to India. He asked me my complete address in January, while I agreed to make my husband go and pick it up.

Then came February, and March. Absolute silence on the vehicle. Meanwhile, they (now, husband and wife) travelled to Dubai via India, and went back to Malaysia via India (with a stop over, both times in India). And, about my bike, no news. My dad felt very bad about the entire incident. He was the one who said to me, "Give it to your brother. He'll need it. Always, it's lying unused here!." He said, "Give it to someone who needs it. It'll give you punya!". And the normal bhashans.

Then came April, when I bluntly put out the question,"What about my bike? I've waited long enough, and you can't let me stress over it." His reply came immediately, "I ran out of money in India." I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this joke. A person, who owns an iPhone 6 or so, a person who has the latest technology gadgets, and took his wife to Dubai and back, says he has run out of money in India? Was he joking when he asked me in January ,"Will you pick up your bike?." I didn't know what to say!

To add to the stress levels, he said, he'd lost the RC book! Are you kidding??? You LOST the RC book???????? And the next day, when I tell him, that I got the documents, but not the originals, he replied, "I found the RC book. It was in his friend's locker". The same friend who agreed to start the vehicle everyday. I mean, how can you trust such a friend ???

All this time, I got freaked, I woke up from my sleep thinking the RC book was lost, and had dreams that my activa met with an accident, and I was standing in a courtroom, addressing a judge. Thank God, it was just a dream!

I think I'll keep on dreaming like this, till the Activa comes to me. Till it's picked up from the location. And till it's picked up from the place where the bus will dump it, and till it reaches my door-step... I miss my Activa!

I believe, when you do something good to people, somebody else helps you when you are in need. I hope, this incident doesn't erase this belief of mine.

It's Mother's Day... Hurray

So, finally came - The Mother's Day.  Though I have seen a lot of mother's day and ignored them, I know deep in my heart that mothers are one the most beautiful thing that can happen to anyone. And I take this opportunity to tell my mom how much I love her, even though I am not very expressive, I want to tell her that she means a lot to me. Without her, I am all void.

I remember the time when she left us and went to Indonesia, I really missed her. I used to cry in the closet. Mother, I really missed you during those days. However, you have more than made up for it. You left dad and came to live with us. Even though dad would have found it hard to live without you, you sacrificed yourselves to stay with us. I cannot imagine living with a meagre income of 8000, but you made it possible. Even now, I wonder why you like travelling by bus, when you have an option of taking a taxi. I wonder how you prefer walking long distances, in search of vegetables and pulses that are cheapest. From where do you get the energy for doing it? You jump to make our favourite dishes when we demand on the fly. Although it's wrong on our part to be demanding, but still you make them without any complaints. I know you have sacrificed a lot for my health, but you need to take care of yourself now. It's high time you do.

I've made fun of you for talking in a Malayalee accent. But you were determined to talk in English. I really admire the confidence you have. I have made fun of you for not knowing how to use a computer, repeatedly. You stood strong like a rock even then. I make fun of your general knowledge. Even then you took it lightly. I have shouted loudly at you. But you never retorted. I know I have done things like this multiple times, but everytime you forgave me.

This article is to tell you that I love you a lot! Though my love for you will continue being unexpressive, I will always admire you. I have a lot to learn from you which I will, when I become a mother too. Words cannot do justice to my love for you.

With this, I put a full-stop. I end with -

HAPPY MOTHER's DAY!

Believe in Middle men?

"Middle men" is what they are known as. Saints or Sadhus - call them what ever, but I do not believe in them. That's because I'm spiritual, and not religious. Even if you are religious, why do you need middlemen? Some of them preach well. And, I respect them, for their preachings. But what I fail to understand is why do you have to PRAY to them or seek their blessings? What's the differentiating factor between you and the middlemen? Is it that god listens to them more than he listens to you? Or, is it that the middleman's prayers for you are answered immediately? What's the connection like? One to one? Oh! It has to be a one to many relationship in some religions. :) 

Let me talk of an episode where I started disliking middlemen (henceforth, I'll refer to them as MM). A MM needs to have some boundaries. I vividly remember one episode where I was asked to come to a room to sort out stamps of a certain MM. I might have been 17 - 18 years of age at that time. And, I had no voice of my own. I felt uncomfortable. But I sorted the stamps fearing that he might end up doing the not-so-doable, and then I scooted from there. Never looked at his face again. I saw the same MM pinching a girl. These are situations that anyone can be in, but I didn't have the courage to tell him that as a swamiji he's losing even the respect he has made for himself in the society. 

These are small incidents that shaped my life of disliking MM. Even if you are religious, why don't you have a one to one relationship with GOD. Why take to the MM? Take it up directly with GOD. I believe, if you do good deeds, only good will come to you. I believe firmly that instead of doing pujas in a temple, feeding the poor earns you more respect as a member of the society. These are my beliefs. And they'll stay. But, if you are a god believer, then please do not entertain the so-called middlemen. They'll preach, pray for you and leave. Finally it's "jaisi karini waisi bharani" -> "What you sow, so you reap".

3-weeks into Radiation

4th week into radiation. How does it feel? Everyone asks me about it. Well, it feels tiring, traumatised by hair loss, sleepless nights, sleepy mornings :-) I've got to be careful about every thing related to me - for e.g., I shouldn't catch infection. I manage to do this with proper planning. For example, last week I visited friends at a restaurant. Initial weeks, I used to go out, but that has reduced.

So, what can we do about hair loss? Well, the first thing is being comfortable with who you are. That's being overly positive. But, it really helps. Secondly, it's being able to carry the bald look. Well,  I know how tough it can be. It's never been easy. Trust me, you'll feel better if you're bald. For e.g., take me for instance. I cut my hair short once before the surgery. And then got a boy cut done with care before radiation began. Then, I was so stressed out, because starting 3rd week, I lost hair in 2 - days :-) . So, I went to the doctor, consulted him, and asked him if it's alright to shave it off. He said ok. So, I had a hair cut by my husband :-) Btw, I still wear caps when I am outside :-)

All said and done, I have a support system which will always be there for me. And, I am waiting for the radiation + chemotherapy to be over, so that I can plan a trip to Masinagudi, which I happened to miss last time, thanks to the diagnosis!

Signing off on a positive note : Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. 

Hey there - I am alive and kicking!

I've undergone my surgery. The tumour was removed successfully. However, I have residues left.  The diagnosis turned out to be a high grade tumour, due to which I have to undergo Radiotherapy + Chemotherapy. I have speaking difficulties - Since I know many languages, (I am a jack of all languages, master of none :-) ) I speak in a mixture of all languages. I have word - finding difficulties. I go blank when I think of a word I need to speak. All that said and done, I am fine. 

I underwent my first chemo + radio session for last 5 days. As long as tiring is concerned, I am tired. Can't go to office anymore. Need to sleep a lot. 12+ hours a day. But I've brought about a routine in life that was missing. I do www.lumosity.com in the mornings. Some yoga when I find time :-). I nap in the noons. Then the dose of medicines starts. And, off to the hospital. Then, evening walks. And, off-to-bed by 9 - 10. 

This is what was missing from life, and I am grateful to almighty that this has proven to be a blessing in disguise. I tend to plan ahead of time. And, this is great! My husband comes for walks with me. He takes me to the Radiotherapy sessions. I am so so so greatful to have found someone like him :-)

Amma is there with me continuously. And, I cannot thank her enough. Dad shuttles between brother's house and here. Friends came over to see me. Family was there throughout. I've got nothing to complain about :-) 

But be cheery and merry!

And, Hey!  Merry Christmas to one and all! There ends my first post after the surgery. More to follow.

Life is not about Facebook pictures, selfies or parties!

I have always been hesitant in writing this post. However, it happens to be one of the posts that might inspire many who are going through a tough phase of life.

Life poses many challenges - it could be an examination failure, a broken marriage, not being able to grow in our careers, many many such. Life's all about how we walk through, and come out, stronger, and ever more vibrant.

I always post the best moments of my life on Facebook. I always like portraying myself as a happy person(not that I am not). But that's not life! Give me a break, how can life always be an "and lived happily after?" tale. I hate telling my woes to my family or friends (spare a few :-) ). But this one, is something that everyone needs to know.

It is very important to have a positive family with a happy outlook. My biggest blessing is that. We do not have surprise parties, we do not believe that ONLY people who wish at 12 a.m are the best of friends/family. We do not believe that life is all about social networking. We might not call each other for ages, but we will still be best of friends/family whenever we do! We believe in being present at a time when a person needs us the most.

So.. here goes my happily ended fairly tale:
In 2009, I had a generalized seizure in a bus. Upon investigation, I'd been diagnosed with a brain tumour, very close to my speech centre. Being fond of talking, this was a concern for me :-). We took a second opinion, and decided to get the tumour removed. But there was a caveat. My doctor wanted to do an awake surgery, in order to ensure that my speech centre is not harmed. Well, the first question that arose was - How can that happen? Won't I feel pain? And the doc says "The brain does not feel pain".  I did not read much about this. However, it was I, who took the decision to do the surgery. Most of the times, awake surgeries are not successful, because the patient does not respond well. So, I had to train myself mentally to ensure that I extend full co-operation to the doctors who were operating on me. I read books, remembered my hospital number, and I told my sister-in-law who also works at the hospital to ask me a few things, so that she can ensure I am doing well. In fact, this was when I started reading Harry Potter and I'd told her to ask me quizzes on that! All said and done, I had to ensure that I could remember 5 languages - English,  Konkani, Kannada, Malayalam and Hindi.

I fairly remember being taken to the Operation theatre. But I do not remember anything until I was woken up by the team of doctors. They constantly asked me to talk. And, I kept on talking. In between when I got bored, I spoke to my husband on phone! I made sure I kept the talking going on - My speech was dear to me! I remember lecturing a doctor who asked me if it's hurting, saying "The brain does not feel pain!". This was a 7-hour surgery with me being awake for around 2 hours. After this, I had to undergo another one in 2-days, to remove a few residues.

I went through all this, without realizing  anything, because I had a family that cared for me. My husband stayed with me through out the 10-days I was in the hospital. He made it fun for me, by showing me sit-coms, movies and you-tube videos. My mother-in-law's sisters took turns to visit me. My mother was always with me. My dad visited me everyday. I remember my concerned relatives visiting me one by one. My grandfather was the most concerned of the lot! I totally understand why. My sister-in-law who worked at the hospital, could silently sneak in interesting snacks for me :-). All in all, I never felt un-cared for. I had such a huge support, that I never had the time to even think of the word "care".

I took a month's medical leave, and got back to a happy working life in 1 month. Most people did not even know that I went through this, because I had no scar on my head. (I could cover a small scar very easily with my bangs or long hair). It's been close to 5 years, and I even changed jobs without realizing what I'd been through. Of course, when I look back, I find it difficult to believe that I was so strong. It was a very different me in that one month of "vacation". It's almost like I had a split personality!

In these 5 years, I've had beautiful moments - My one-month Europe trip was the best thing that happened to me! Thanks Nimmy for being there! My brother had a healthy baby boy, and he is already up and running! I've made the most wonderful friends, and our bond has only grown stronger :-) . We've discussed our ups and downs, and the bond grows stronger every time we speak, however rare that be! My family and friends were the best things that happened to me. I've had my bad times too, like everyone does. But my support system outdoes all that!

I had a small residual tumor left behind after my surgery, because it was very close to my speech area. Hence, I keep doing 6-monthly MRI-checkups. In my recent scan it has re-surfaced, and I need to do the same procedure again! I, who had told "never ever" to an awake surgery, is preparing myself for another one. This time, I know there are 70% chances of radiation to follow, but I am trying to stay calm. I need to take rest and mentally prepare for the battle that follows. The best thing is, I have the same support system, albeit 5-years older, but they have the same enthusiasm that'll keep me going.

This one's dedicated to all my family and friends, who have been with me in person or in spirit. I love you guys more than anything else!
And, to my husband - I am looking forward to many more road-trips! We missed the Eiffel last time, I'm positive we'll go back!

Happiness........

For me, happiness is a collective entity. Happiness is not an individualistic characteristic, but a group's trait. Even the biggest success of life can stop bringing a smile on our faces, if we don't see our near and dear ones smiling. On similar lines, even the biggest sorrows might disappear from the mind for a moment, when a loved one seems to be happy .

For me, happiness is all about myself relative to others, and others relative to myself, and, ofcourse the others here being my near and dear ones. I fail to see the celebration of my success with pomp and show when my best friend has had a let down. Similarly I fail to find a reason not to celebrate when my closest friend is getting married on the one hand, and I have had a let down on the other.

Happiness is about sharing with the caring. It's contagious in the sense that it spreads to you when your loved one is happy. It's contagious in the sense that it spreads to your loved one when you're happy. It's true that staying happy is the best way to stay healthy. And, staying healthy is the best way to stay happy.. And there comes a vicious cycle.

Happiness has a magical touch to it. There is nothing happier than happy :) I wish all my loved ones a happy happy :) :) :)

Terror everywhere...

I was in my apartment grabbing my evening cup of tea, and I switched to CNN IBN. There comes the breaking news :

INDIA TERRORIZED AGAIN - DELHI BLOWN !

What followed on television was the sight of a number of laymen bleeding - Some even dead - being rushed to nearby hospitals.

I wonder, if the perpetrators of the crime watch these gruesome videos of innocent victims. And, if they do, I wonder if their conscience ever awakens.Cos there have been more blasts following every since, and every Indian wakes up wondering - Which city next ?

These are men whose conscience has been raped and murdered, and subjugated to an extent that it has become non existent. I am sorry I said "MEN". They are an insult to the very name "MAN". They are incapable b@#$@#$s who donot live in peace, nor let others live in peace. They don't understand "humanity".

Forget their nation, do these cowards not love their families ? If they do, then why is it so hard for them to realize that they are killing people who are dear to many ! Why don't they visualize their own mother/sister/father perishing in terror? What is that hell of a joy they get out of killing innocent victims and hiding somewhere !! Life and death is in God's hands - And they are not GOD to kill people.

How I wish I could throw a glass of acid on those F!@#$%s. How I wish they can be chained and paraded like animals, and whipped by the general public. How I wish they rot in hell when they die. How I wish they are made to pay - inch by inch for every ounce of misery they've caused. How I wish they go through the most gruesome death anybody has ever undergone.

Its the anger boiling within me that makes me say this. Its anger in everyone's minds around. Its the inherent humanity that makes me want to punish the terrorists for their dastardly act. But the fact remains that I, like everyone else around, am thinking from the heart. I wish, a day will come, when, we rationalize our thought process, and realize, that prevention is better than cure".. If you chop a tree, it still continues to grow, but if you remove it by the root, it dies. I hope we do something similar to terror.

Having said that, I hope, a day will come, when people can safely venture out without thinking "What if I am the next victim?"

Meanwhile, I am signing off, wondering, like many others, "WHO NEXT ?"

I just remembered a previous post of mine

Today morning, I went to a hospital. When I came out, my bike was hidden and covered from all directions with other bikes. Realizing that it was literally impossible for me to take it out, I took help from a security guard. I was very impressed by his help, and decided to tip him. I gave him a ten rupee note. AND HE REFUSED TO TAKE THE MONEY. :-) -> This reminded me of my previous post: http://vandyhasablog.blogspot.com/2008/03/one-rupee-tip.html.

I liked the guard's sincerity, but, one of my friends(to whom I narrated this incident) actually got me thinking "if accepting a tip is bad". Well, if, someone tips for a service after being happy with it, it might be his way of encouraging the person performing the service.

Comments are open on this. This looks like a topic to debate on.

Independence

Well, independence day is long over, and I ain't talking about that :-) I am talking about my Independence day, and what this "independence" means to me - Coincidentally, I too celebrated it on the 15th of August.

Well, the whole thing started about a month and a half back. I was having a tough time traveling to work, and maintaining my study timetables. It was time I moved out to a place closer to work. As I've spent 2 years of my life studying for THE vouched MBA (and I failed miserably), my parents concurred with the idea of shifting me out into a different place - thinking I would find more time to study as well as to work.

Staying alone brings with it myriads of issues. Makes me think twice before I take any decision now - I am solely responsible for anything I do. Staying alone means no mommy to oil your hair on a weekend. Staying alone means having to cook your own food (or to eat the junk outside). Staying alone means washing your own clothes, checking if the main door of the house is locked, cleaning your own toilets, buying soaps, detergents, shampoos, ironing your own clothes – Staying alone means, in a single word -RESPONSIBILITY.

Luckily for me the above mentioned chores are not new - thanks to an independent, non pampered upbringing. But somewhere, I do feel I have become more responsible. (Not that I wasn’t responsible earlier). And the most important benefit of being independent is moving into a self introspection mode, and getting to know oneself better. This is what I enjoy the most. There are times when I try to draw graphs of my behavioral trends in my mind. I analyze myself, and dig deep into my conscience. Certain actions of mine seem non understandable, certain logical, certain impromptu. I now get sometime to sit back and think about every moment of my life, every person in my life, every interaction I have with people. I get time to study people around me and myself. Last but not the least; I have learnt the importance of people in life. Every relationship counts here, and there is no substitute for a mom, a dad, a brother, a friend, and a life companion.

Sociality

We live in huge societies barricaded by tall walls of caste, language, region, religion, etc. “Society”, or, should I say “sociality” is one of the basic attributes of human beings. We all like to live in our own groups, and very often, we define ourselves according to the “majority” of the group. We all have personal preferences, but, if our personal preferences conflict with that of the group, the fear of alienation makes us believe, we are wronging, and, those preferences get buried deep under the sand. Groupism gives a sense of belonging to human beings, and, in turn, and huge degree of moral support. Often, the fear of loneliness, and abandonment, makes people confine themselves to the ideas of the group. The group whose walls are defined by the immediate family, by the caste and religion, is the first group every individual is a part of by default (in India). The other groups form gradually with time. They include friends, colleagues, etc.

Often, groups suppress individualism. This has its advantages, as well as disadvantages. An individual may suppress his desires to abide to the group, and he’ll be called a good team player. He might have sacrificed uphis own “desires” for the group’s well-being, and this would be acceptable to him. However, on the other hand, (and this is usually the case) certain individuals bury their passions and desires with the fear of abandonment. This brings in a lot of dissatisfaction in life. Very often, such behavior will lead to a loss of inner happiness, and the individual ends up leading a life according the whims and fancies of the group.



A few examples of the advantages and disadvantages of “groupism”.

• Rekha belongs to an orthodox South Indian Brahmin family, and lives in a village. She has topped her 12th std board exams, and wants to study in a good college in a city. However, people in her village do not let girls go to cities without getting them married. She succumbed to these ideas, and got married to a city guy to pursue her dream of studying in a city college. However, after marriage, she was not allowed to study, as her husband didn’t want a wife more qualified than him and, she had to again sacrifice her desires.

• Anitha and her friends wanted to go for a movie. Out of the 10, she was the only one who watched the movie, but, she decided to go along with her friends once again. In this case, Anitha did sacrifice for the group, but, she did it out of her own willingness.

The Auto Rides

It has been a while since I penned down anything, and my avid readers are complaining. It's not that I didn't have anything to write, nor is it that I was time-tied, I was just too lazy, and, I spent all my time in my own dream space I have carved for myself and my own self, and only my own own own self :-)

Well, it was during the May-June time frame, that I attended a lot of farewell parties - One by one, everyone seems to be moving out to achieve their career ambitions. I felt so glad for a few of my friends, and, at the same time, I did wish I could step into their shoes ! Grass always looks greener on the other side - Yes, I know this, very well, so do many, but, very often we end up thinking of the IFs in life.

I mostly ride to work on my bike, and, once in a while take the bumpy auto-rides too. Its during these auto rides that I let my mind wander into any zone w/o any restrictions, and start philosophizing things around. I'm probably one of those who don't strike conversations with the auto fellows. It's not an aversion towards them - its more of a fear, and a cautionary note that I've heard since my childhood - Don't talk to strangers !

Corruption is rampant everywhere in India - be it Chennai, Bangalore, Mumbai or any corner ! And, be it construction workers, the Govt. officials, or, the Collectors, or, even the top notch entrepreneurs - corruption is present at every rung of the social ladder. Its this notion of corruption, in a way, and, the usual don't trust strangers, that makes us wary of talking to strangers, even the auto fellows. I've had experiences where, an auto fellow has cheated me royally, sometimes we fall for it, and, sometimes, we decide not to create a ruckus about it. I've also had experiences where they have been extremely nice to me. One of the auto guys I saw once, didn't want to come till my destination, and, he offered me a ride to (free of cost)the nearest auto station, as he was going that side anyway . And, sometimes, I've had these old drivers strike interesting conversations with me, and, the journey goes so smooth with a conversation flowing by. Recently, I took an auto on one of the bomb scare days, and, the network they have is so amazing - He had every bit of information on which area is safe, and which not, and, what I liked about him, is that, unlike others, he was more worried about getting his customer to her destination safely, than about negotiating for an extra tip !

Somehow, small interesting events like these, make a believe, tat we shouldn't enter an auto with preconceived notions that they're gonna cheat us - Very often, they're much nicer than our notions about them.

Irrational

Work had gotten mundane, and esp after the SIP (hike), there was a lot of dissatisfaction, and, to raise the spirits, the management played the trump card - Threw some money to have fun, to cheer up the sad people :) I dont know if it worked, but, I did have a good time :)

6 teams of my Brand called "Rational", all having around 30-50 people came up with themes for the day (called the Irrational day), and, it was amazing to see the level of participation from all the teams ! Never had I imagined that in a software industry, I could find so much participation in an event. It truely reflected the team spirit, and the awesome bonding b/w the team members.

In particular, my team came up with a "Back to School" theme. Childhood memories became alive when I wore a school uniform, with a tie and shoes, wore ribbons, and sat in a classroom (The work place was converted into a classroom by using Maps, globes, White boards, teachers, princpal,Vice principal, and students). And, add to it, the fact that we added a good cause to the whole story. We asked everyone to buy some classroom materials for our school day, so that after the event we could donate it to some school.

All in all, today was a perfect showcase of team work, dedication, passion, fun, and what not !

Few pics are uploaded at : http://www.orkut.co.in/Album.aspx?uid=7887852890920641923&aid=1215168175

Deep from inside...

I was very happy in the morning.. Woke up early, came really early to work, did quite some boring work, but finished a chunk of it - everything was moving according to my plan.. But, someone broke the entire chain of satisfaction. A stupid meeting, and a caller hurt my ego.. I've read about flaring male egos. But, this one s a female ego.. Much stronger.. I just kept quiet throughout the meeting. Not cos I was weak enough to punch back, but I pitied those poor souls at the receiving end..

Ok.. I wrote the first paragraph in the afternoon when I was red with anger.. But, now, I am finding it difficult to continue it, cos, I've quite forgotten the event! (Pretty fast eh??)

I sit back now, and think of the word "Emotion".. It sometimes comes out like a jet of fast flowing water, and gets to a very destructive level, and finally subsides - like a Volcano does. "Emotions" can show you two extremes on the same day - Extreme depression, and Immense happiness. I sometimes begin to wonder, how my mood can fluctuate between two extremes on a single day. It maybe the recent failures I've witnessed in my career plans, and on the personal front, or, it maybe the quarter-life crisis at its zenith, or as some old aunts say it might be a "Shani Dasha". Nevertheless, its become a prominent part of my life.

I'm just reminded of a line (Probably the only line worth remembering, and that too, worth remembering, cos, it was told to me by someone worth remembering) from Chetan Bhagath's "Three Mistakes Of My Life". In my own words, it means "There is a small corner of the brain where we store all the miseries of life, and this corner is shut mostly. And, when a new misery befalls us, we open this corner to add the new misery into it, and all the miseries flow out at that time".. How true ! I can genuinely associate with it, cos, whenever I feel lonely or depressed, very often, I end up recalling all the bad times I've had.. However, after hearing this, I made a conscious effort to think of the beautiful things around me when I was sad, and, trust me, I did see the elegant part of life :) Yes, agreed its not a very practical thing always, but, with a constant trial, things may just work out :)

Life of a 23 something girl...

7:00am.
Phone rings. Trrrrrring trrrrrring...
Voice on the other end : Hello beta. How are you?
Asha: I'm good amma. Getting ready to go to office.
Voice on the other end : Oho. Had breakfast ?
Asha: No amma, will have at work.
Voice: Ok. Ride Safely. Btw, we got hold of a "case".
Asha: What case?
Voice: The guy is working in a reputed firm. Earns pretty well too. And he's in the US.
Asha: So?? (I woke up 15 mins before, and this is what I hear first thing in the morning! And yes, btw proposals are referred to as "cases" in Indian families.. lol)
Voice: Well, see beta, you are getting old, and, so are we... (Raam katha started..)
Asha: Ok Need to rush to office.. TTYL.. Bbye

HUNG

10 am:
TRRRINN TRRRINGG
Asha: Hello.
Voice: Hello beta.. So, that case I was talking to you about.. The guy is.. blah blah blah. You see, u ll just need to take a break from ur career and go to US. Forget CAT beta, you can try somethign small there..
Asha: (Burning with rage...) I WILL NOT SACRIFICE MY CAREER..

THUD... Phone down :D

1 pm :
TRRRING TRRRING
Asha: Hello (Sigh..)
Voice: Beta, How are u ?
Asha: I'm good. (Wonder why ppl ask me the same question when they know the answer to it ;))
Voice: So, there s one more "case"...
Asha: having luch will call later.. Bye..
(Sigh !!!)

4 pm:

TRRRRING TRRRING
Asha: Hello (Sigh.. Sigh..)
Voice: So, this guy .. (Gosh, There was no hello.. Straightaway "GUY")
Asha: Mama, pls do whatever you please no... Chill !!

6 pm:
Voice: Hello
Asha: Hello, I am going out for dinner with friends today. Will be the last one, as they re leaving outta town for furthur studies. Will be back home by 10.
Voice: 10 !!!!!! Is that a time when girls return home ? Its not meant for our culture !!! Dont give us tension. If you go out like this we'll not find guys for you!!!
Asha: Ok. Will try to come back soon amma.. Dont worry. Its not always that I go. Its their last day, and probably the last time I am going out with them.
Voice: K. (ANGRY)

THUD


9:30 pm
TRRRING TRRRING
Asha: Hello.
Voice: Reached home?
Asha: Actually, just one round of starters is over, I ll leave after the main course.
Voice: WHAAAATTTT ? U re not yet home?????? Pack up NOW !!! Is this a time for girls to stay out ??? OMG ! Look at how our daughter has grown up...
Asha: Ok. Leaving NOW...

10 pm
Voice: Hello
Asha: Reached home ma.
Voice: Blaj blah blah blah blah.... blah blah blah blah blah... Blah blah blah blah bla.... (You can guess this...)
Asha: Ok, I am just bugged of life !!
Voice: Stop ur studies.. A degree is enough for a gurl.. Time you get married.. NO MORE HIGHER STUDIES... blah blah blah blah blah... blah blah blah blah blah


This is the story of a 23 something in a conservative Indian family. No matter what level of education you're capable of achieving, no matter how capable you are, no matter how high a dream you have, its time you go to that corner of the house called "kitchen", and cook something for your husband, if not, learn to cook some thing for ur future husband. Its time you get married to anyone what so ever, so that your parents can happily sit back and lay the burden off their shoulders. Its time you forget your business dreams, shed that extra weight, stop wearing those baggy jeans and tees, stop partying, and sit at home, to "create" that impression.

In an era, when business decisions are made over a couple of drinks, or, say, a game of golf, and, if, being a woman, you dont drink, nor play a game of golf, is it fair that you lose out on the opportunity of being a part of that decision, when you have the same caliber ? Hmm.. its not necessary that you drink, or play a game of golf, but making your presence felt, and being a part of the business is not that difficult right??

Its just a thought I always have in mind.. Why does life after 20+ suddenly seems biased towards the darker gender? I hope the former generation realizes the need for gender equality, and we get a fair share of everything enjoyed by the darker sex, as, we're equally able, equally hard working, and we have equal rights to indulge in all that they do !

The Quarter Life Crisis....

I reached home at 7 PM today, and realized, I had no energy to even step into the kitchen for a glass of water. As usual I shouted "AMMA Water..." And zoooooooinkkkk came a glass of chilled water. Drank it, didn't speak a word, and rushed into my room to open my books to read. Meanwhile dad came with a few doubts about using Excel sheets. Patience running out, I tried explaining, but it was hard. I felt like I was teaching a cat to swim ! I ended up shouting :D. Heard a few lectures from them on how to behave. I quietly heard them (I knew I was wrong.) Later, went for dinner and got back to my books. Suddenly I realized, I had to complete some stuff for work. And boom I was in front of the comp.

THATS the LIFE OF TWENTY TWO PLUS IN BANGALORE.

Sitting in my room, I started thinking of how life has changed in two years. A "happy go lucky" me in college, cool-headed during examinations, life was just about studying a day or two before an examination, and chilling for the rest of the time. The sole aim in life was to get good grades. And it now looks like the easiest part of life :D

I came across this phenomenon called the "Quarter life Crisis", when one of my cousins shared with me a link on it. I call it a phenomenon, because its prevalent in everyone in the age group of 20 - 30, no matter who. Its a transitional phase of life, where we find ourselves suddenly out into the open world, with a whole lot of choices, but with very less wisdom to make the right choice. The mind is always unhappy, and striving for the better.

Few symptoms are -
** I worked so hard for the project, and finally, my manager gave credit to my peer !
** He's got a double promotion, and look at me, I'm still at level 1, when I've done almost what he's done.
** All my friends are striving for a Post graduation, and here I am, still hungry for a B School seat, and not finding one !
** Her guy got her a diamond ring, and my guy hasn't even given me a plastic ear-ring set :(
** He has a beautiful girl-friend, and look at MY....
** He's already got a car !! And I don't even have a bike :(
** Oh, those ppl went for the match w/o inviting me :(

AND MANY more....
Being a twenty-three (I know girls lie about their age, But PROMISE I ain't) something, I realize how true this is. With every passing phase of life, we seem to encounter more challenges, and just about the time when we feel we've overcome one, another one pops from nowhere !! Its high time for me to master Risk Management skills :)

Do check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis

The Squirrel’s determination

Its been a long time since I penned down something, or blogged. Writing is my favorite stress-buster, and, when I write, I feel a lot lighter in my head. Quite obviously, I mostly write when I’m disturbed, or, when I feel I’m getting de-motivated (As writing motivates me to a great extent). But today, I’m writing because I feel motivated. The source of my motivation is something unusual. It’s a mother squirrel, whom I observed in the near past.

I’ve been living in a rented house for the past 4 years or so. A small room with a computer, my bed, and my books forms an integral part of my living. One day, I realized that there was someone in the room other than me. I could hear squeaking sounds from my window. I pushed the curtain, and I saw a squirrel sitting by some junk stuff. I saw the squirrel almost everyday. Day by day, it collected twigs and hay, and built a nest between the window mesh and the door. It took almost a week for the nest to be ready.

I’m not a great lover of animals. And, quite naturally, I realized that I can’t let the squirrel stay in my room with that huge nest – Mainly, cos someday it would have kids, and the small squirrels would roam around everywhere and dirty the place. So, naturally, the very next morning, I told Valli amma (my maid) to throw the nest outside. When she removed the mesh and took the nest out, the mother squirrel jumped out of it, and ran around the house. This was followed by some squeaks and squeals from me, but, finally, we managed to get the squirrel and the nest out. Woah, what a relief it was.

The next day, I saw the mommy squirrel frantically going up and down the window, regretting the loss of her house. I felt bad for her, and wished she’d chosen some other place to build her house.

I forget about the squirrels, and I carried on with my daily activities after that incident. One day, I again heard some sounds from my window. I pushed aside the curtain, and, to my horror, I saw a nest in formation!! The squirrel was building another nest. Hmmm, I was furious. How dare he do that! So, the very next morning, I again brought Valli amma into action, and got rid of the nest. What a relief again.

The next week I was extremely busy with work, and went out of station to meet my parents. Meanwhile, when I was away, my sister-in law called me, and told, that the squirrel has borne two baby squirrels, and they’re still residing in MY WINDOW SIL!!
Woah, I was taken aback. How dare they! Impulsively, my first reaction was to destroy the nest again. But, later, some thought made me appreciate the mother squirrel for what she’d done. Her firm determination, the never give up attitude and love for her newborns had quite an inspirational story for me to learn from.

We decided not to ruin the squirrel’s family, and to let her lead a happy life till her babies grow up. I’ve not heard noises off-late, so, I believe, the kids are grown up, and they’ve left their homes to start a living.

This may have been a very trivial story which I could have easily forgotten, but the mother squirrel taught me a lot of values, which, I’ve rarely seen in us humans. Well, it probably is the power of civilization that has made us what we are!

The bright light

Round the corner, I spotted a bright light,
I traveled towards it all night,
To reach my goal, I had to fight,
sweat out and work with all my might,
And, every passing day, my goal seemed closer to sight.

The journey was a mixture of fun and toil,
Filled with patches of both brown and green,
Some of the days were full of turmoil,
Rest of them were hard work - clean,
Every night, I burnt the midnight oil.

Around me, people pitied my plight,
Undeterred, I continued my flight,
Perseverance was the mantra,
Hard work was my sole tantra,
Unperturbed I inched my way,
Far far away from my bay.

One sunny day, I reached the bright light,
The joy of achievement was boundless,
The beauty of the goal left me speechless,
The joyful tears of my eyes were countless,
The smell of victory was fabulous.

Friends and Family, listen to me,
Everything in the world can be achieved by thee,
Toil hard, and keep your spirits high,
Be cheerful always, and never sigh,
Round the corner when you spot the bright light,
Run for it, with all your might !

Five Point Someone - Play by Evam

Well, There might not be many people who've not read the book - Five Point Someone. An instant hit, the book was written by Chetan Bhagat, an IIT-IIM guy, and I believe, the concept and the brand name were the two main reason for its quick success. (The second book by Chetan was One night at the Call center, and this was, if I can say Bull shit).

Five Point Someone - the book - is a one-shot read, but definitely not the kind of book that'll have a lasting impact. Nevertheless, I read the book at one shot, and quite liked the concept - probably because I was in college when I read the book. So, when last week, a friend told me about Evam staging this play at Rangashankara, I badly wanted to watch it.

The desire to watch the play was strong, but I never booked the tickets, and so, I landed at Rangashankara, and barged my way through a crowd of people who were in the waiting list. I someone managed to finally get the last few tickets there ! What a relief, and I am so glad, that, for once I got lucky !


Rangashankara - My first time here. I donot have words to describe the place. AWESOME !!!!!! I loved the arrangements. Be it the food, or the decors, everything looked so much theatre-types (I cudn't find any other word for it. hehe)

Sets - Very simple . The play is one of the best examples of "Sense and simplicity" (sorry Philips!). I could count exactly 4 things on stage - one elevated stage(supposed to be top of the building at IIT), a cot, a table and a chair (and ofcourse the actors) - There was nothing else on the stage - Yet, these props were just enough to enact every scene in the best manner.

Actors - Every single person appeared real. A small anecdote from my expeience : Me and Ranjini were having lunch at the eat-out in Ranga Shankara, and we came across a guy having meals. He was hogging like it was nobody's business, and like he'd never seen food. Later, I realised, he was none other than Alok, the fat glutton and the nerdy mugger, of the play !
It seemed like the characters in the play were very close to their real-life. Be it Ryan, Alok, or Hari, not to forget a mention at all the profs - esp. Prof Cherian (His baritone voice sent me gaga over him! ) - all of them were aptly chosen to suite their character.
How can I forget the narrator - Hari's alter self - The concept of having two ppl enact as Hari, and his alter-self - brought in tremendous clarity and kept up the sense of humor - esp. when Hari's alter self faces the audience after every scene.

This play was directed by the youngest directory of Madras talkies, and I don't think anyone could have done a better job! In short, this was a brilliant experience. Evam will always remain one of my favorite theater group - Their youth, their precision, their profiessionality, and the smiles they bring to everyone's face is commendable !