Happiness........

For me, happiness is a collective entity. Happiness is not an individualistic characteristic, but a group's trait. Even the biggest success of life can stop bringing a smile on our faces, if we don't see our near and dear ones smiling. On similar lines, even the biggest sorrows might disappear from the mind for a moment, when a loved one seems to be happy .

For me, happiness is all about myself relative to others, and others relative to myself, and, ofcourse the others here being my near and dear ones. I fail to see the celebration of my success with pomp and show when my best friend has had a let down. Similarly I fail to find a reason not to celebrate when my closest friend is getting married on the one hand, and I have had a let down on the other.

Happiness is about sharing with the caring. It's contagious in the sense that it spreads to you when your loved one is happy. It's contagious in the sense that it spreads to your loved one when you're happy. It's true that staying happy is the best way to stay healthy. And, staying healthy is the best way to stay happy.. And there comes a vicious cycle.

Happiness has a magical touch to it. There is nothing happier than happy :) I wish all my loved ones a happy happy :) :) :)

Terror everywhere...

I was in my apartment grabbing my evening cup of tea, and I switched to CNN IBN. There comes the breaking news :

INDIA TERRORIZED AGAIN - DELHI BLOWN !

What followed on television was the sight of a number of laymen bleeding - Some even dead - being rushed to nearby hospitals.

I wonder, if the perpetrators of the crime watch these gruesome videos of innocent victims. And, if they do, I wonder if their conscience ever awakens.Cos there have been more blasts following every since, and every Indian wakes up wondering - Which city next ?

These are men whose conscience has been raped and murdered, and subjugated to an extent that it has become non existent. I am sorry I said "MEN". They are an insult to the very name "MAN". They are incapable b@#$@#$s who donot live in peace, nor let others live in peace. They don't understand "humanity".

Forget their nation, do these cowards not love their families ? If they do, then why is it so hard for them to realize that they are killing people who are dear to many ! Why don't they visualize their own mother/sister/father perishing in terror? What is that hell of a joy they get out of killing innocent victims and hiding somewhere !! Life and death is in God's hands - And they are not GOD to kill people.

How I wish I could throw a glass of acid on those F!@#$%s. How I wish they can be chained and paraded like animals, and whipped by the general public. How I wish they rot in hell when they die. How I wish they are made to pay - inch by inch for every ounce of misery they've caused. How I wish they go through the most gruesome death anybody has ever undergone.

Its the anger boiling within me that makes me say this. Its anger in everyone's minds around. Its the inherent humanity that makes me want to punish the terrorists for their dastardly act. But the fact remains that I, like everyone else around, am thinking from the heart. I wish, a day will come, when, we rationalize our thought process, and realize, that prevention is better than cure".. If you chop a tree, it still continues to grow, but if you remove it by the root, it dies. I hope we do something similar to terror.

Having said that, I hope, a day will come, when people can safely venture out without thinking "What if I am the next victim?"

Meanwhile, I am signing off, wondering, like many others, "WHO NEXT ?"

I just remembered a previous post of mine

Today morning, I went to a hospital. When I came out, my bike was hidden and covered from all directions with other bikes. Realizing that it was literally impossible for me to take it out, I took help from a security guard. I was very impressed by his help, and decided to tip him. I gave him a ten rupee note. AND HE REFUSED TO TAKE THE MONEY. :-) -> This reminded me of my previous post: http://vandyhasablog.blogspot.com/2008/03/one-rupee-tip.html.

I liked the guard's sincerity, but, one of my friends(to whom I narrated this incident) actually got me thinking "if accepting a tip is bad". Well, if, someone tips for a service after being happy with it, it might be his way of encouraging the person performing the service.

Comments are open on this. This looks like a topic to debate on.

Independence

Well, independence day is long over, and I ain't talking about that :-) I am talking about my Independence day, and what this "independence" means to me - Coincidentally, I too celebrated it on the 15th of August.

Well, the whole thing started about a month and a half back. I was having a tough time traveling to work, and maintaining my study timetables. It was time I moved out to a place closer to work. As I've spent 2 years of my life studying for THE vouched MBA (and I failed miserably), my parents concurred with the idea of shifting me out into a different place - thinking I would find more time to study as well as to work.

Staying alone brings with it myriads of issues. Makes me think twice before I take any decision now - I am solely responsible for anything I do. Staying alone means no mommy to oil your hair on a weekend. Staying alone means having to cook your own food (or to eat the junk outside). Staying alone means washing your own clothes, checking if the main door of the house is locked, cleaning your own toilets, buying soaps, detergents, shampoos, ironing your own clothes – Staying alone means, in a single word -RESPONSIBILITY.

Luckily for me the above mentioned chores are not new - thanks to an independent, non pampered upbringing. But somewhere, I do feel I have become more responsible. (Not that I wasn’t responsible earlier). And the most important benefit of being independent is moving into a self introspection mode, and getting to know oneself better. This is what I enjoy the most. There are times when I try to draw graphs of my behavioral trends in my mind. I analyze myself, and dig deep into my conscience. Certain actions of mine seem non understandable, certain logical, certain impromptu. I now get sometime to sit back and think about every moment of my life, every person in my life, every interaction I have with people. I get time to study people around me and myself. Last but not the least; I have learnt the importance of people in life. Every relationship counts here, and there is no substitute for a mom, a dad, a brother, a friend, and a life companion.

Sociality

We live in huge societies barricaded by tall walls of caste, language, region, religion, etc. “Society”, or, should I say “sociality” is one of the basic attributes of human beings. We all like to live in our own groups, and very often, we define ourselves according to the “majority” of the group. We all have personal preferences, but, if our personal preferences conflict with that of the group, the fear of alienation makes us believe, we are wronging, and, those preferences get buried deep under the sand. Groupism gives a sense of belonging to human beings, and, in turn, and huge degree of moral support. Often, the fear of loneliness, and abandonment, makes people confine themselves to the ideas of the group. The group whose walls are defined by the immediate family, by the caste and religion, is the first group every individual is a part of by default (in India). The other groups form gradually with time. They include friends, colleagues, etc.

Often, groups suppress individualism. This has its advantages, as well as disadvantages. An individual may suppress his desires to abide to the group, and he’ll be called a good team player. He might have sacrificed uphis own “desires” for the group’s well-being, and this would be acceptable to him. However, on the other hand, (and this is usually the case) certain individuals bury their passions and desires with the fear of abandonment. This brings in a lot of dissatisfaction in life. Very often, such behavior will lead to a loss of inner happiness, and the individual ends up leading a life according the whims and fancies of the group.



A few examples of the advantages and disadvantages of “groupism”.

• Rekha belongs to an orthodox South Indian Brahmin family, and lives in a village. She has topped her 12th std board exams, and wants to study in a good college in a city. However, people in her village do not let girls go to cities without getting them married. She succumbed to these ideas, and got married to a city guy to pursue her dream of studying in a city college. However, after marriage, she was not allowed to study, as her husband didn’t want a wife more qualified than him and, she had to again sacrifice her desires.

• Anitha and her friends wanted to go for a movie. Out of the 10, she was the only one who watched the movie, but, she decided to go along with her friends once again. In this case, Anitha did sacrifice for the group, but, she did it out of her own willingness.

The Auto Rides

It has been a while since I penned down anything, and my avid readers are complaining. It's not that I didn't have anything to write, nor is it that I was time-tied, I was just too lazy, and, I spent all my time in my own dream space I have carved for myself and my own self, and only my own own own self :-)

Well, it was during the May-June time frame, that I attended a lot of farewell parties - One by one, everyone seems to be moving out to achieve their career ambitions. I felt so glad for a few of my friends, and, at the same time, I did wish I could step into their shoes ! Grass always looks greener on the other side - Yes, I know this, very well, so do many, but, very often we end up thinking of the IFs in life.

I mostly ride to work on my bike, and, once in a while take the bumpy auto-rides too. Its during these auto rides that I let my mind wander into any zone w/o any restrictions, and start philosophizing things around. I'm probably one of those who don't strike conversations with the auto fellows. It's not an aversion towards them - its more of a fear, and a cautionary note that I've heard since my childhood - Don't talk to strangers !

Corruption is rampant everywhere in India - be it Chennai, Bangalore, Mumbai or any corner ! And, be it construction workers, the Govt. officials, or, the Collectors, or, even the top notch entrepreneurs - corruption is present at every rung of the social ladder. Its this notion of corruption, in a way, and, the usual don't trust strangers, that makes us wary of talking to strangers, even the auto fellows. I've had experiences where, an auto fellow has cheated me royally, sometimes we fall for it, and, sometimes, we decide not to create a ruckus about it. I've also had experiences where they have been extremely nice to me. One of the auto guys I saw once, didn't want to come till my destination, and, he offered me a ride to (free of cost)the nearest auto station, as he was going that side anyway . And, sometimes, I've had these old drivers strike interesting conversations with me, and, the journey goes so smooth with a conversation flowing by. Recently, I took an auto on one of the bomb scare days, and, the network they have is so amazing - He had every bit of information on which area is safe, and which not, and, what I liked about him, is that, unlike others, he was more worried about getting his customer to her destination safely, than about negotiating for an extra tip !

Somehow, small interesting events like these, make a believe, tat we shouldn't enter an auto with preconceived notions that they're gonna cheat us - Very often, they're much nicer than our notions about them.

Irrational

Work had gotten mundane, and esp after the SIP (hike), there was a lot of dissatisfaction, and, to raise the spirits, the management played the trump card - Threw some money to have fun, to cheer up the sad people :) I dont know if it worked, but, I did have a good time :)

6 teams of my Brand called "Rational", all having around 30-50 people came up with themes for the day (called the Irrational day), and, it was amazing to see the level of participation from all the teams ! Never had I imagined that in a software industry, I could find so much participation in an event. It truely reflected the team spirit, and the awesome bonding b/w the team members.

In particular, my team came up with a "Back to School" theme. Childhood memories became alive when I wore a school uniform, with a tie and shoes, wore ribbons, and sat in a classroom (The work place was converted into a classroom by using Maps, globes, White boards, teachers, princpal,Vice principal, and students). And, add to it, the fact that we added a good cause to the whole story. We asked everyone to buy some classroom materials for our school day, so that after the event we could donate it to some school.

All in all, today was a perfect showcase of team work, dedication, passion, fun, and what not !

Few pics are uploaded at : http://www.orkut.co.in/Album.aspx?uid=7887852890920641923&aid=1215168175