Deep from inside...

I was very happy in the morning.. Woke up early, came really early to work, did quite some boring work, but finished a chunk of it - everything was moving according to my plan.. But, someone broke the entire chain of satisfaction. A stupid meeting, and a caller hurt my ego.. I've read about flaring male egos. But, this one s a female ego.. Much stronger.. I just kept quiet throughout the meeting. Not cos I was weak enough to punch back, but I pitied those poor souls at the receiving end..

Ok.. I wrote the first paragraph in the afternoon when I was red with anger.. But, now, I am finding it difficult to continue it, cos, I've quite forgotten the event! (Pretty fast eh??)

I sit back now, and think of the word "Emotion".. It sometimes comes out like a jet of fast flowing water, and gets to a very destructive level, and finally subsides - like a Volcano does. "Emotions" can show you two extremes on the same day - Extreme depression, and Immense happiness. I sometimes begin to wonder, how my mood can fluctuate between two extremes on a single day. It maybe the recent failures I've witnessed in my career plans, and on the personal front, or, it maybe the quarter-life crisis at its zenith, or as some old aunts say it might be a "Shani Dasha". Nevertheless, its become a prominent part of my life.

I'm just reminded of a line (Probably the only line worth remembering, and that too, worth remembering, cos, it was told to me by someone worth remembering) from Chetan Bhagath's "Three Mistakes Of My Life". In my own words, it means "There is a small corner of the brain where we store all the miseries of life, and this corner is shut mostly. And, when a new misery befalls us, we open this corner to add the new misery into it, and all the miseries flow out at that time".. How true ! I can genuinely associate with it, cos, whenever I feel lonely or depressed, very often, I end up recalling all the bad times I've had.. However, after hearing this, I made a conscious effort to think of the beautiful things around me when I was sad, and, trust me, I did see the elegant part of life :) Yes, agreed its not a very practical thing always, but, with a constant trial, things may just work out :)

Life of a 23 something girl...

7:00am.
Phone rings. Trrrrrring trrrrrring...
Voice on the other end : Hello beta. How are you?
Asha: I'm good amma. Getting ready to go to office.
Voice on the other end : Oho. Had breakfast ?
Asha: No amma, will have at work.
Voice: Ok. Ride Safely. Btw, we got hold of a "case".
Asha: What case?
Voice: The guy is working in a reputed firm. Earns pretty well too. And he's in the US.
Asha: So?? (I woke up 15 mins before, and this is what I hear first thing in the morning! And yes, btw proposals are referred to as "cases" in Indian families.. lol)
Voice: Well, see beta, you are getting old, and, so are we... (Raam katha started..)
Asha: Ok Need to rush to office.. TTYL.. Bbye

HUNG

10 am:
TRRRINN TRRRINGG
Asha: Hello.
Voice: Hello beta.. So, that case I was talking to you about.. The guy is.. blah blah blah. You see, u ll just need to take a break from ur career and go to US. Forget CAT beta, you can try somethign small there..
Asha: (Burning with rage...) I WILL NOT SACRIFICE MY CAREER..

THUD... Phone down :D

1 pm :
TRRRING TRRRING
Asha: Hello (Sigh..)
Voice: Beta, How are u ?
Asha: I'm good. (Wonder why ppl ask me the same question when they know the answer to it ;))
Voice: So, there s one more "case"...
Asha: having luch will call later.. Bye..
(Sigh !!!)

4 pm:

TRRRRING TRRRING
Asha: Hello (Sigh.. Sigh..)
Voice: So, this guy .. (Gosh, There was no hello.. Straightaway "GUY")
Asha: Mama, pls do whatever you please no... Chill !!

6 pm:
Voice: Hello
Asha: Hello, I am going out for dinner with friends today. Will be the last one, as they re leaving outta town for furthur studies. Will be back home by 10.
Voice: 10 !!!!!! Is that a time when girls return home ? Its not meant for our culture !!! Dont give us tension. If you go out like this we'll not find guys for you!!!
Asha: Ok. Will try to come back soon amma.. Dont worry. Its not always that I go. Its their last day, and probably the last time I am going out with them.
Voice: K. (ANGRY)

THUD


9:30 pm
TRRRING TRRRING
Asha: Hello.
Voice: Reached home?
Asha: Actually, just one round of starters is over, I ll leave after the main course.
Voice: WHAAAATTTT ? U re not yet home?????? Pack up NOW !!! Is this a time for girls to stay out ??? OMG ! Look at how our daughter has grown up...
Asha: Ok. Leaving NOW...

10 pm
Voice: Hello
Asha: Reached home ma.
Voice: Blaj blah blah blah blah.... blah blah blah blah blah... Blah blah blah blah bla.... (You can guess this...)
Asha: Ok, I am just bugged of life !!
Voice: Stop ur studies.. A degree is enough for a gurl.. Time you get married.. NO MORE HIGHER STUDIES... blah blah blah blah blah... blah blah blah blah blah


This is the story of a 23 something in a conservative Indian family. No matter what level of education you're capable of achieving, no matter how capable you are, no matter how high a dream you have, its time you go to that corner of the house called "kitchen", and cook something for your husband, if not, learn to cook some thing for ur future husband. Its time you get married to anyone what so ever, so that your parents can happily sit back and lay the burden off their shoulders. Its time you forget your business dreams, shed that extra weight, stop wearing those baggy jeans and tees, stop partying, and sit at home, to "create" that impression.

In an era, when business decisions are made over a couple of drinks, or, say, a game of golf, and, if, being a woman, you dont drink, nor play a game of golf, is it fair that you lose out on the opportunity of being a part of that decision, when you have the same caliber ? Hmm.. its not necessary that you drink, or play a game of golf, but making your presence felt, and being a part of the business is not that difficult right??

Its just a thought I always have in mind.. Why does life after 20+ suddenly seems biased towards the darker gender? I hope the former generation realizes the need for gender equality, and we get a fair share of everything enjoyed by the darker sex, as, we're equally able, equally hard working, and we have equal rights to indulge in all that they do !

The Quarter Life Crisis....

I reached home at 7 PM today, and realized, I had no energy to even step into the kitchen for a glass of water. As usual I shouted "AMMA Water..." And zoooooooinkkkk came a glass of chilled water. Drank it, didn't speak a word, and rushed into my room to open my books to read. Meanwhile dad came with a few doubts about using Excel sheets. Patience running out, I tried explaining, but it was hard. I felt like I was teaching a cat to swim ! I ended up shouting :D. Heard a few lectures from them on how to behave. I quietly heard them (I knew I was wrong.) Later, went for dinner and got back to my books. Suddenly I realized, I had to complete some stuff for work. And boom I was in front of the comp.

THATS the LIFE OF TWENTY TWO PLUS IN BANGALORE.

Sitting in my room, I started thinking of how life has changed in two years. A "happy go lucky" me in college, cool-headed during examinations, life was just about studying a day or two before an examination, and chilling for the rest of the time. The sole aim in life was to get good grades. And it now looks like the easiest part of life :D

I came across this phenomenon called the "Quarter life Crisis", when one of my cousins shared with me a link on it. I call it a phenomenon, because its prevalent in everyone in the age group of 20 - 30, no matter who. Its a transitional phase of life, where we find ourselves suddenly out into the open world, with a whole lot of choices, but with very less wisdom to make the right choice. The mind is always unhappy, and striving for the better.

Few symptoms are -
** I worked so hard for the project, and finally, my manager gave credit to my peer !
** He's got a double promotion, and look at me, I'm still at level 1, when I've done almost what he's done.
** All my friends are striving for a Post graduation, and here I am, still hungry for a B School seat, and not finding one !
** Her guy got her a diamond ring, and my guy hasn't even given me a plastic ear-ring set :(
** He has a beautiful girl-friend, and look at MY....
** He's already got a car !! And I don't even have a bike :(
** Oh, those ppl went for the match w/o inviting me :(

AND MANY more....
Being a twenty-three (I know girls lie about their age, But PROMISE I ain't) something, I realize how true this is. With every passing phase of life, we seem to encounter more challenges, and just about the time when we feel we've overcome one, another one pops from nowhere !! Its high time for me to master Risk Management skills :)

Do check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis

The Squirrel’s determination

Its been a long time since I penned down something, or blogged. Writing is my favorite stress-buster, and, when I write, I feel a lot lighter in my head. Quite obviously, I mostly write when I’m disturbed, or, when I feel I’m getting de-motivated (As writing motivates me to a great extent). But today, I’m writing because I feel motivated. The source of my motivation is something unusual. It’s a mother squirrel, whom I observed in the near past.

I’ve been living in a rented house for the past 4 years or so. A small room with a computer, my bed, and my books forms an integral part of my living. One day, I realized that there was someone in the room other than me. I could hear squeaking sounds from my window. I pushed the curtain, and I saw a squirrel sitting by some junk stuff. I saw the squirrel almost everyday. Day by day, it collected twigs and hay, and built a nest between the window mesh and the door. It took almost a week for the nest to be ready.

I’m not a great lover of animals. And, quite naturally, I realized that I can’t let the squirrel stay in my room with that huge nest – Mainly, cos someday it would have kids, and the small squirrels would roam around everywhere and dirty the place. So, naturally, the very next morning, I told Valli amma (my maid) to throw the nest outside. When she removed the mesh and took the nest out, the mother squirrel jumped out of it, and ran around the house. This was followed by some squeaks and squeals from me, but, finally, we managed to get the squirrel and the nest out. Woah, what a relief it was.

The next day, I saw the mommy squirrel frantically going up and down the window, regretting the loss of her house. I felt bad for her, and wished she’d chosen some other place to build her house.

I forget about the squirrels, and I carried on with my daily activities after that incident. One day, I again heard some sounds from my window. I pushed aside the curtain, and, to my horror, I saw a nest in formation!! The squirrel was building another nest. Hmmm, I was furious. How dare he do that! So, the very next morning, I again brought Valli amma into action, and got rid of the nest. What a relief again.

The next week I was extremely busy with work, and went out of station to meet my parents. Meanwhile, when I was away, my sister-in law called me, and told, that the squirrel has borne two baby squirrels, and they’re still residing in MY WINDOW SIL!!
Woah, I was taken aback. How dare they! Impulsively, my first reaction was to destroy the nest again. But, later, some thought made me appreciate the mother squirrel for what she’d done. Her firm determination, the never give up attitude and love for her newborns had quite an inspirational story for me to learn from.

We decided not to ruin the squirrel’s family, and to let her lead a happy life till her babies grow up. I’ve not heard noises off-late, so, I believe, the kids are grown up, and they’ve left their homes to start a living.

This may have been a very trivial story which I could have easily forgotten, but the mother squirrel taught me a lot of values, which, I’ve rarely seen in us humans. Well, it probably is the power of civilization that has made us what we are!

The bright light

Round the corner, I spotted a bright light,
I traveled towards it all night,
To reach my goal, I had to fight,
sweat out and work with all my might,
And, every passing day, my goal seemed closer to sight.

The journey was a mixture of fun and toil,
Filled with patches of both brown and green,
Some of the days were full of turmoil,
Rest of them were hard work - clean,
Every night, I burnt the midnight oil.

Around me, people pitied my plight,
Undeterred, I continued my flight,
Perseverance was the mantra,
Hard work was my sole tantra,
Unperturbed I inched my way,
Far far away from my bay.

One sunny day, I reached the bright light,
The joy of achievement was boundless,
The beauty of the goal left me speechless,
The joyful tears of my eyes were countless,
The smell of victory was fabulous.

Friends and Family, listen to me,
Everything in the world can be achieved by thee,
Toil hard, and keep your spirits high,
Be cheerful always, and never sigh,
Round the corner when you spot the bright light,
Run for it, with all your might !

Five Point Someone - Play by Evam

Well, There might not be many people who've not read the book - Five Point Someone. An instant hit, the book was written by Chetan Bhagat, an IIT-IIM guy, and I believe, the concept and the brand name were the two main reason for its quick success. (The second book by Chetan was One night at the Call center, and this was, if I can say Bull shit).

Five Point Someone - the book - is a one-shot read, but definitely not the kind of book that'll have a lasting impact. Nevertheless, I read the book at one shot, and quite liked the concept - probably because I was in college when I read the book. So, when last week, a friend told me about Evam staging this play at Rangashankara, I badly wanted to watch it.

The desire to watch the play was strong, but I never booked the tickets, and so, I landed at Rangashankara, and barged my way through a crowd of people who were in the waiting list. I someone managed to finally get the last few tickets there ! What a relief, and I am so glad, that, for once I got lucky !


Rangashankara - My first time here. I donot have words to describe the place. AWESOME !!!!!! I loved the arrangements. Be it the food, or the decors, everything looked so much theatre-types (I cudn't find any other word for it. hehe)

Sets - Very simple . The play is one of the best examples of "Sense and simplicity" (sorry Philips!). I could count exactly 4 things on stage - one elevated stage(supposed to be top of the building at IIT), a cot, a table and a chair (and ofcourse the actors) - There was nothing else on the stage - Yet, these props were just enough to enact every scene in the best manner.

Actors - Every single person appeared real. A small anecdote from my expeience : Me and Ranjini were having lunch at the eat-out in Ranga Shankara, and we came across a guy having meals. He was hogging like it was nobody's business, and like he'd never seen food. Later, I realised, he was none other than Alok, the fat glutton and the nerdy mugger, of the play !
It seemed like the characters in the play were very close to their real-life. Be it Ryan, Alok, or Hari, not to forget a mention at all the profs - esp. Prof Cherian (His baritone voice sent me gaga over him! ) - all of them were aptly chosen to suite their character.
How can I forget the narrator - Hari's alter self - The concept of having two ppl enact as Hari, and his alter-self - brought in tremendous clarity and kept up the sense of humor - esp. when Hari's alter self faces the audience after every scene.

This play was directed by the youngest directory of Madras talkies, and I don't think anyone could have done a better job! In short, this was a brilliant experience. Evam will always remain one of my favorite theater group - Their youth, their precision, their profiessionality, and the smiles they bring to everyone's face is commendable !

My first FAILURE in an interview....

I woke up in the morning, feeling extremely elated - cos this was the day my 2 months of waiting were gonna bear fruit. Yes, I am talking of my SP results. Today was D-DAY, and the results were gonna be announced.
I was one of the several sincere aspirants, who wanted a break-through MBA career. My one and only call for the season was an SP Jain call. It was a DO or DIE situation for me, and I prepared decently well for an interview that could have brought a new dimension to my life. After my January 29th interview, I was confident. Very confident, cos in my perception I had a kick-ass interview . I have NOT seen a failure in life, and believed, my success graph WILL go up. The confidence reigned in me day and night. I dreamt of residing in Mumbai as an SP-ite. I started thinking of what I would do for my DOCC project. I started thinking of how I would fund my education. I had a clear-cut plan in mind. I agree, there were times I thought, I ll give another shot at CAT, but, somehow, in the back of my mind, I knew I wanted it - Cos I know the trauma and pressure of preparing for CAT for another year.
Anyways, I was at office, refreshing http://www.spjimr.org time and again - hoping that my dreams will come true. Believe me, I spent the whole day at office refreshing http://www.spjimr.org. And, finally, when I saw the results, i couldnt find my name. I was so sure, something went wrong that I kept reading every name in the list. It took me ten minutes to digest that I've not been selected. Wierd, but, I couldnt cry. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I wish I did.
Confident as I was, the moment I saw my name wasnt there, my mind ran towards CAT 2008. Its gonna be a tough journey, but I always believe that hard work and sincerity pays , no matter what. I guess, the feeling is yet to sink into me currently, but I soooo hope, that, when it does, I remain as confident as ever!
Its a different story, my CAT 2007 journey ended in a tragedy - But, I had a beautiful time going through it - Be it the Saturday-Sunday mocks with friends, the Byju's CAT classes, Analysis of mocks, or the combined studies - I had a rocking time.
It would be unfair, if I dont thank my good friends Pratima and Harsha - I've shared with them my every emotion , and they were as excited for me as I was in the morning. I was so touched to see Pratima refreshing the results page every now and then to check my results. I'm blessed to have friends like them !