Sociality

We live in huge societies barricaded by tall walls of caste, language, region, religion, etc. “Society”, or, should I say “sociality” is one of the basic attributes of human beings. We all like to live in our own groups, and very often, we define ourselves according to the “majority” of the group. We all have personal preferences, but, if our personal preferences conflict with that of the group, the fear of alienation makes us believe, we are wronging, and, those preferences get buried deep under the sand. Groupism gives a sense of belonging to human beings, and, in turn, and huge degree of moral support. Often, the fear of loneliness, and abandonment, makes people confine themselves to the ideas of the group. The group whose walls are defined by the immediate family, by the caste and religion, is the first group every individual is a part of by default (in India). The other groups form gradually with time. They include friends, colleagues, etc.

Often, groups suppress individualism. This has its advantages, as well as disadvantages. An individual may suppress his desires to abide to the group, and he’ll be called a good team player. He might have sacrificed uphis own “desires” for the group’s well-being, and this would be acceptable to him. However, on the other hand, (and this is usually the case) certain individuals bury their passions and desires with the fear of abandonment. This brings in a lot of dissatisfaction in life. Very often, such behavior will lead to a loss of inner happiness, and the individual ends up leading a life according the whims and fancies of the group.



A few examples of the advantages and disadvantages of “groupism”.

• Rekha belongs to an orthodox South Indian Brahmin family, and lives in a village. She has topped her 12th std board exams, and wants to study in a good college in a city. However, people in her village do not let girls go to cities without getting them married. She succumbed to these ideas, and got married to a city guy to pursue her dream of studying in a city college. However, after marriage, she was not allowed to study, as her husband didn’t want a wife more qualified than him and, she had to again sacrifice her desires.

• Anitha and her friends wanted to go for a movie. Out of the 10, she was the only one who watched the movie, but, she decided to go along with her friends once again. In this case, Anitha did sacrifice for the group, but, she did it out of her own willingness.