I have always been hesitant in writing this post. However, it happens to be one of the posts that might inspire many who are going through a tough phase of life.
Life poses many challenges - it could be an examination failure, a broken marriage, not being able to grow in our careers, many many such. Life's all about how we walk through, and come out, stronger, and ever more vibrant.
I always post the best moments of my life on Facebook. I always like portraying myself as a happy person(not that I am not). But that's not life! Give me a break, how can life always be an "and lived happily after?" tale. I hate telling my woes to my family or friends (spare a few :-) ). But this one, is something that everyone needs to know.
It is very important to have a positive family with a happy outlook. My biggest blessing is that. We do not have surprise parties, we do not believe that ONLY people who wish at 12 a.m are the best of friends/family. We do not believe that life is all about social networking. We might not call each other for ages, but we will still be best of friends/family whenever we do! We believe in being present at a time when a person needs us the most.
So.. here goes my happily ended fairly tale:
In 2009, I had a generalized seizure in a bus. Upon investigation, I'd been diagnosed with a brain tumour, very close to my speech centre. Being fond of talking, this was a concern for me :-). We took a second opinion, and decided to get the tumour removed. But there was a caveat. My doctor wanted to do an awake surgery, in order to ensure that my speech centre is not harmed. Well, the first question that arose was - How can that happen? Won't I feel pain? And the doc says "The brain does not feel pain". I did not read much about this. However, it was I, who took the decision to do the surgery. Most of the times, awake surgeries are not successful, because the patient does not respond well. So, I had to train myself mentally to ensure that I extend full co-operation to the doctors who were operating on me. I read books, remembered my hospital number, and I told my sister-in-law who also works at the hospital to ask me a few things, so that she can ensure I am doing well. In fact, this was when I started reading Harry Potter and I'd told her to ask me quizzes on that! All said and done, I had to ensure that I could remember 5 languages - English, Konkani, Kannada, Malayalam and Hindi.
I fairly remember being taken to the Operation theatre. But I do not remember anything until I was woken up by the team of doctors. They constantly asked me to talk. And, I kept on talking. In between when I got bored, I spoke to my husband on phone! I made sure I kept the talking going on - My speech was dear to me! I remember lecturing a doctor who asked me if it's hurting, saying "The brain does not feel pain!". This was a 7-hour surgery with me being awake for around 2 hours. After this, I had to undergo another one in 2-days, to remove a few residues.
I went through all this, without realizing anything, because I had a family that cared for me. My husband stayed with me through out the 10-days I was in the hospital. He made it fun for me, by showing me sit-coms, movies and you-tube videos. My mother-in-law's sisters took turns to visit me. My mother was always with me. My dad visited me everyday. I remember my concerned relatives visiting me one by one. My grandfather was the most concerned of the lot! I totally understand why. My sister-in-law who worked at the hospital, could silently sneak in interesting snacks for me :-). All in all, I never felt un-cared for. I had such a huge support, that I never had the time to even think of the word "care".
I took a month's medical leave, and got back to a happy working life in 1 month. Most people did not even know that I went through this, because I had no scar on my head. (I could cover a small scar very easily with my bangs or long hair). It's been close to 5 years, and I even changed jobs without realizing what I'd been through. Of course, when I look back, I find it difficult to believe that I was so strong. It was a very different me in that one month of "vacation". It's almost like I had a split personality!
In these 5 years, I've had beautiful moments - My one-month Europe trip was the best thing that happened to me! Thanks Nimmy for being there! My brother had a healthy baby boy, and he is already up and running! I've made the most wonderful friends, and our bond has only grown stronger :-) . We've discussed our ups and downs, and the bond grows stronger every time we speak, however rare that be! My family and friends were the best things that happened to me. I've had my bad times too, like everyone does. But my support system outdoes all that!
I had a small residual tumor left behind after my surgery, because it was very close to my speech area. Hence, I keep doing 6-monthly MRI-checkups. In my recent scan it has re-surfaced, and I need to do the same procedure again! I, who had told "never ever" to an awake surgery, is preparing myself for another one. This time, I know there are 70% chances of radiation to follow, but I am trying to stay calm. I need to take rest and mentally prepare for the battle that follows. The best thing is, I have the same support system, albeit 5-years older, but they have the same enthusiasm that'll keep me going.
This one's dedicated to all my family and friends, who have been with me in person or in spirit. I love you guys more than anything else!
And, to my husband - I am looking forward to many more road-trips! We missed the Eiffel last time, I'm positive we'll go back!
